Our lives constitute of many relationships which have their individual effect on our life and psychology. Being a parent, a sibling, a friend, a child, and being what not! All these relations and tags not only define our subjective identity but also our behaviour pattern. Believe it or not, we enjoy our space differently in different relationships. With our friends, we can be our own self to the fullest, with our parents and relatives, the engagements are more reverential, while with are siblings we can be the bossy ones if we happen to be the elder child and yet enjoy the best kind of friendship! But, when it comes to our romantic relationships, it can be considered as having a touch of all the above characteristics (not the biological ones, of course!). It is this one person with whom we can be ourselves, enjoy utmost attention, care, affection, respect, and at times some sort of scolding too. Understandably, it is one of the relationships that impacts our psyche and behaviour the most.
During turbulent times during our romantic relationship, not only our thought process is hampered but also if things are too bad, they may affect our daily work schedule. Most of the times, the problems begin to crop up since quite some time but either we choose to overlook them or are just too busy to address them. This is what leads to unsolicited disturbance in our adobe and it may jeopardise the relationship. At times, the couples are vigilant enough to see the problems and instead of letting them pile up, they sit down to find a solution it. But if the issues are chronic or you are finding it difficult to come to a mutual solution, you must not hesitate to take outside help.
Couple counselling sessions are conducted by many psychologists and therapists and you may also find the required by various portals like Couples Help which conduct similar sessions for helping out couples in distress. There are lot of ways in which these sessions and therapies work to overcome the problems that exist in the relationships of the couples approaching them. Let us see how this is done.
Opportunity to speak clearly and openly
A relationship is build by individuals coming together to find the prospects of their future together. But if the individuals themselves are not able to express themselves openly or any of them is not ready to listen to the other’s point of view, it will lead to confusion, arguments and frustration.
It has been seen that taking couple therapies is harder than taking individual sessions as in the seat opposite to you, the person sitting will be your own partner, ready to argue back and rubbish your opinions! But when you agree to mediate the discussion through a therapist or psychologists, you will get a better chance of expressing yourself.
Your relationship counsellor will help you speak to your partner clearly about your fears and needs and also help him or her to understand them better and help in reaching a common ground. When you can bare your thoughts completely in front of the person you love the most, your mind gets relieved and free of all the frustration.
Understanding the underlying issue
It is never good to let issues pile up in your mind. This will let to harmful consequences and maybe fatal to your relationship as well. Most of the times we fail to see which particular trait of ours is affecting our partner negatively and is becoming the bone of contention every time. Eventually the blame game begins and instead of figuring out the problem, we figure out ways to blame each other.
What your relationship counsellor will help you do is to initiate a discussion and not let it get converted into an argument. You might not know that you and your partner might be arguing about the most stupid issue and due to some past differences, these small issues are escalating to a nasty level. Or maybe you to are getting into a zone of staleness and boredom. It might be possible that you have lost the spark which was present in the initial stages. There are also times when the relationship is getting adversely affected by some major issues involving money, sex, infidelity, career, future prospects, in-laws and many other important issues which possibly your partner is not understanding.
The main purpose that your relationship counsellor has is to make both of you sit with each other and become a neutral mediator in the conversation. The responsibility of the counsellor is towards both of you and so each individual will be given an equal opportunity to express the concerns and issues.
Both of you may find the process difficult initially, but with subsequent sessions you will begin to see the positive outcomes. If we closely consider any relationship, the root cause of any problem is being inexpressive and not listening carefully. Once this is solved, the couple can surmount any obstacle, have a healthier relationship and a better mental health.